Separating
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Background
This stage refers to the period in people's lives when they have separated from their partner. This usually means they have physically moved away from their partner in at least one of three ways:
Geographically: One partner has moved to separate accommodation. In some cases, it can mean an interim arrangement where the couple live in the same house and have different bedrooms, but there is agreement that this is temporary.
Sexually: That the sexual relationship is terminated, or there are plans to terminate it.
Psychologically: That one partner has made a decision that the relationship is over and is mentally withdrawing.
How people separate (and the circumstances of the separation) will influence the way they respond to and handle the changes associated with separation.
Separation contexts will vary and might include:
- The mutually agreed, sometimes carefully planned and discussed separation
- Those characterised by preceding periods of escalating dissatisfaction and ongoing conflicts
- The sudden departure of one of the partners, leaving the other shocked and bewildered.
Regardless of how it happened, many of the issues needing to be addressed are common to the stage. How people deal with the issues, and the meanings they attribute to the different issues and situations, will vary.