Handout 15
Strategies for building children's self-esteem
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Statements that show your children that you appreciate them:
- I'm lucky to know you
- You are a pleasure to know
- You are important
- You are unique
- I like to see/hug/hold/rock/kiss you
- I love you
- It's good to see you
- Good morning
- I'm glad I'm getting to know you
- I am glad to share this time with you
- I'm glad you are here
- I'm glad you live in our house
- I'm glad you came today
- I enjoy being with you
- I like to sit by you
- I'm glad we are riding/walking/playing/working together
- I thought about you during the week
- I like you
- I'm glad you are in my house/class/group/life
- I think you are a great kid
- I'm glad you are my friend
- Will you play with me?
- Thanks for being you.
Actions that show your children that you care about them:
- Smile
- Hugs, pats, kisses (if they are comfortable with this)
- Handshakes
- Listening to your child
- Sharing something important
- Spending time with your child
- Being the one who calls/start conversations/suggests things
- Using your child's name.
Statements that show your children that you approve of their behaviour:
- 'I like the way you handled that'
- 'I like the way you tackled that problem'
- 'I'm glad you enjoy learning'
- 'I'm glad you're pleased with it'
- 'Since you're not satisfied, what do you think you can do so that you will be pleased with it?'
- 'It looks as if you enjoyed that!'
- 'How do you feel about it?'
Statements that show your children that you have confidence in them:
- 'Knowing you, I am sure you will do fine'
- 'You will make it'
- 'I have confidence in your judgement'
- 'That's a rough one, but I am sure you will work it out'
- 'You will figure it out.'
Statements that recognise your child's efforts and improvement
- 'It seems to me that you really worked hard on that'
- 'It seems to me that you have spent a lot of time thinking that through'
- 'It seems to me that you are improving'
- 'It seems to me that you may not feel you have reached your goal, but look how far you have come'
- 'Look at the progress you have made.'
Phrases that focus on your child's contributions and abilities:
- 'Thanks, that helped a lot'
- 'It was thoughtful of you'
- 'Thanks, I really appreciated that because it makes my job much easier'
- 'I know you are really good at that, I was wondering if you could help me with it'
- 'I really enjoyed today. Thanks!'